Table football - an extreme sport?


How do you define an extreme sport? Is it extreme because of its inherent physical danger or because of the amount of pleasure such participants derive from it when they do it well?

In my humble opinion, by either of these definitions, Table Football is an Extreme Sport.

Ten examples of why table football is an extreme sport
I quote the following 10 examples as proof.

1. Physical danger From the opposition, if you thrash them - particularly if they are markedly larger than you.

2. Physical danger From the opposition, if you win a 'sweat ball' game by a lucky goal or by resorting to 'slime' tactics.

3. Physical danger From your playing partner, if you don't win the 'sweat ball' game by a lucky goal or by resorting to 'slime' tactics.

4. Physical danger From the heart stopping, gut wrenching terror when the opposition's forward has the ball on his front men and your defender has the glazed eyes of a man about to leave an open goal.

5. Physical danger From all the alcohol you have had to drink whilst you gradually became more and more proficient, or at least, believed you had become more proficient.

6. Physical danger From your girlfriend who spent endless hours waiting because you kept losing and couldn't walk away without showing the opposition how good you really were.

7. Physical danger From your next girlfriend who spent endless hours waiting whilst you were on a wining streak which you just couldn't afford to abandon.

8. Physical danger From the fact that there are so few players about these days that you are suffering from alcohol poisoning and double vision before you actually find some opposition, which greatly contributes to 5 above.

9. Physical danger From the wives / girlfriends of the potential opposition who you do eventually find, as they have banned their blokes from playing. You therefore have to run the grave risk of direct confrontation with these intimidating specimens of womanhood who are themselves considerably larger and more aggressive than they used to be, presumably due to 6 and 7 above.

10. Physical danger And what about the endless strain on your legs from standing at the table or on your arms from lifting the pints and, last but by no means least, the continual threat of the dreaded thrutchers wrist?

Closing argument
Watch any game of table football anywhere in the country, marvel at the intense concentration of the players and listen to the cries of success and the shrieks of anguish upon failure. These tell you without fear of contradiction just how extreme a sport table football actually is.

After all, can you tell me of any other sport in which you are in danger whilst trying to find the venue, from your wife / girlfriend both at the venue and afterwards, from your partner on the table, from the opposition and even from the opposition's wives / girlfriends?

Written by 'The Fat Bloke'



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